Realitream.

I keep having dreams about a woman I have never met that keep getting realer and realer. Her face gets more detailed. Her body and scents are becoming more detailed. Is it possible that sooner than later I won’t even want to wake up from these dreams?

These dreams are literally becoming another world. A world where the scenarios are just as real as this one. A world that excites me, but is soooo different than this one. 

In this world that I wake up from, I have very real conversations; conversations that are continuations of conversations that I have in this world…

What if… What if I started a tumblr account in the dream world, but under a different pen name? 

Hmmm.

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

Humility is the key…

I don’t want to feel as if you only lOOk for me when you need a fix of me because I have felt that enough in a lifetime to know that I don’t care for it, nor do I want, or need it in my life. 

I love the way she can’t be without me. I love the way she demands my time because I always DEMAND it right back. 

If three years ago you would have told me that I would be HERE—I may have fought vigorously to have you committed. 

I spent this past weekend up in the Catskills with some family, and it was there where I regained my balance. It was there where I first learned to, and ever have, fished. It was there where I learned how influential an athletic human could be. It was there where I found my love and passions for: baseball, women, and   l  o  v  e. 

"Humility" is the KEY to long-lasting friendships.

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

All the fun in “Forever”.

The deeper it gets now, the more the memories fade. The more those memories fade, the less I remember. 

We wish for some things to be forever, but we forget to realize that forever is much too long for explorers. Places you have seen and been to, people you have met and connected with, they all fall to the allure of the new and the now. 

Don’t blame me for forgetting you, simply be happy that I can stay in my now and live a life of bliss and happiness, forever. 

There actually is all the fun in forever. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

Not anymore…

I don’t want to write about how crazy one girl is, or how distraught the other one can be. I won’t because now I am realizing the similarities between them all. Instead, I want to talk about new loves and new connections because those are the things that matter. 

Old connections can be fun, but it’s the new ones that bring excitement, especially when the old ones are stuck in cycles of utter redundancy. 

New energies are great because they bring new things to the table. Why the hell would I want to be around an energy that is going to turn toxic at any moment? Why would I pull myself into a situation that is going to end exactly how it did last time?

It’s not that I don’t care about you, it’s just that I don’t care to be around you; it just doesn’t excite me anymore. 

At my age beauty is not enough”. —Jep Gambardella

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

Mapping.

Remember how I used to feel whenever I was with you? When no matter how crazy the world got it never affected me? When no matter who had drama in their lives at the moment, it never touched us. 

Remember how I used to look at you, deep in your eyes as if everything that mattered to me on this planet could only be found there? As if in order to continue living I had to just stare into your pupils and not break a blink? As if the oceans and skies met right there, in your eyes, and as if that was the only thing where everything existed? 

Remember how I loved every single inch of you? How I explored your entire body from head to toe? How I counted and made a mental map of every single beauty mark you had? 

I love finding that again. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

Journey

What if we all picked our characters before we came into being? Something like our souls sitting around an enormous room of space and picking our features, where we are born, hence picking our particular adventure in this life. You get what I mean?

A bunch of souls are hanging out and picking the details of their next adventure. They pick, like avatars in a video game: eye color, hair color, height, place of birth and then embark into their journey. Part of the process is that you agree not to remember your own soul (self) until you return from your journey. 

The only thing our souls can’t pick is everything else. We can’t pick who we fall in love with, how many car accidents or bruises our avatars will receive, how long we will live, or where we end up.

As we grow into our avatars and learn about them, we begin to figure out this thing called life, and figure out everything else in it. We begin, if we are smart enough to learn fast, to figure out love, to figure out our bodies and how they react to the things we eat/consume. We start figuring out what is better for us, and we begin to discover the power of our own brains and minds. If we learn fast, we advance. In the interim, we have to ‘look both ways before we cross streets and roads’, we have to ‘always be mindful of falling air-conditioners from tall buildings’, and we must ALWAYS remember that a fire does have the power to burn you—that does NOT mean that it will burn you…

If any of this is remotely true, then answer this: ‘how much of the avatar that your soul is residing in do you really know?’. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014 

I write.

I write because I love it. I write because this is what I was put on this earth to do; put into this life to be. I write because I’ve been writing in two languages since I was 2 headed to 3. I write because it is my escape and my reality. 

I don’t write to be famous. I don’t write to make money. I write because I love it, so all your Amazon Kindle Unlimited jabber is worthless to me. 

I write because I can, and I’m good at it. I write to learn. I write to track my own progress and understand my mind better. I write to spar with other writers and be seen as the best by all of them. I write to train. I write to live and I live to write, so tell me now, ‘what is it that you write for?’.

CYRUS PAVEL. remember the name. 

In Spirit

Parking the car in the Lower East Side never seemed so impossible. Just a few months back it was the easiest thing in the world on a random weeknight, but tonight it seemed like everyone was out. Finally, a spot opened up. 

Walking up to the second floor of Stanton Social to meet with Amalia; oh, how I’ve missed my Amali. A care-free spirit that showed me genuine love and represented a new friendship to me. You know, friends are hard to come by and it takes years to develop a real one, but for some reason we hit it off, and I’m glad we did. 

A table full of girls, yes! Amalia, Debbie, Kris, Tamara, and woooooowait; what? My eyes quickly dropped to my feet like a little shy schoolboy who had just turned red from a heart-stopping smile. ‘Look back up right NOW’, I tell myself.. I look up, she grabs my wrist and tells me to always treasure” the gift that Amalia had just given me. It was a beautiful little black bracelet with a silver key that read: CHANCE

…. Taxi rides at night kissing under streetlights, restaurants galore and enough sex to put a professional porn star to shame. More kisses, planes, automobiles, beaches, blizzards, bars, beautiful momentsthat’s how the next few years would play out. 

Of course, you will be here "in spirit" for a very long time to come; tucked away in a certain part of my heart where hope for more smiles, laughs and kisses will sleep under a spell. 

Thank you for your email. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

STOP Waiting & Make the Changes.

We create the worlds we want to live in. We do this by eliminating the energies that we don’t want around us, or at least by beginning to understand that we have a choice in the energies that we surround ourselves with. 

No one forces us to have to keep energies around us except for our own consciences. Our consciences are the ones that fool us into certain beliefs and guilts about eliminating energies that we may have known for some time. They are the ones that feel bad for cutting others off, or feel the need to respond to letters from people that logically, and intuitively, don’t really give two fucks about us. 

But, we must realize that these consciences we come equipped with are malleable, and that from birth we are whispered ideas into our ears; ideas that we come to know as the ultimate truths by the time we learn to speak; ideas that go on to control a large portion of our lives, if we allow them to. These ideas become like invisible electronic fences. These invisible electronic fences contain our consciences within the boundaries of the ideas that have been whispered into our ears since before we came out of our mothers wombs.

Now do you see how deeply embedded the programming you know is?

When we tell you to "free your mind”, we’re not just reciting words from some sci-fi flick that you may or may not have seen. No. We are telling you that the boundaries, limits, restrictions and rules, that your conscience has been taught and fenced-in by are all terribly archaic, fatally wrong, but still very alterable.

Human beings have the ability to change who they are by the minute. Who you are today is not who you can be tomorrow. Who you can be tomorrow can be so far off from where you will end up, but all the power of it lies within you, and all the changes start with removing barriers from your very own conscience. 

Start today by eliminating an energy that you have wanted to be rid of for some time now, but always felt guilty about. It can be something as tiny as deleting a contact from your phonebook, or, unfollowing someone on Instagram or Twitter and even blocking them.

Make the changes instead of waiting for shit to just change on its own. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

“There is an expiration date on just how long I will ALWAYS be here for you.”
— Cyrus Pavel. 2014

The past is a fog that breathes out ghost after ghost.

Ghosts appear and I’m never really sure about what they want. It used to be that whenever I saw a ghost from my past it scared the shit out of me. It scared me because I wasn’t sure what it needed from me, or even worse, what I needed from it. 

I remember following a ghost once, stuck in-between unreality and reality. Stuck in the real world following something that I knew had to be part of my imagination, yet feeling forced to follow it to see where I exactly I would end up. 

You know that I have always followed kisses, right? Because where a kiss can take you is part of the adventure, and because adventure is part of truly living

Ghosts are our minds playing tricks on us through shadows and light. They are part of our brain’s unanswered inquiries into situations that our souls must feel have been left uncompleted. They are the things in our pasts that we refuse to let go of, holding no power over us physically, but still able to hold all of the power over us mentally. 

Years later, after realizing the characteristics of these “ghosts”, I stopped being scared of them. They then simply became pieces of my broken-heart that needed to be reclaimed, sewed back into it, and mended by my own mind. Little by little the fog that carried these ghosts became my friend. 

These days, I still see some ghosts from time to time, but it is only when I call upon them, without the fog, that they come to me, and it is only when I want to remember a beautiful moment that I summon them. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014  *listening to Magic by Coldplay from “Ghost Stories”.

Indulge.

I’m finding out that addiction is just another word for indulging, and that if we want to become addicted to something like: working-out-at-the-gym, we simply must learn to indulge in the ecosystem and lifestyle of it. 

Make sense?

Don’t just train one day here and there for a few minutes. Instead, indulge in a fit lifestyle to see the results you want to achieve in your body. You must eat, sleep, think, drink, shit, and live the fit life all around. There is no room to indulge in anything else when you want to get fit.

Remember, It is possible to reverse-engineer the things you have done to your body. It just isn’t very easy to do and takes all of your dedication to do so. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014